Watch it you Mother “Bleeeeep”

Disclaimer: If you are not amused by four-letter words, read some else’s post today.

So we have officially entered a new phase in Sammy’s life and although I am not prepared on how best to handle this situation, I knew it was inevitable. You see, in my family,you are born with potty mouth. When I was around 3 years old, I ripped the sales associate a new one just because she asked me not to eat my cookie in the store. My mother acted appalled and blamed my tirade on the neighbor children. My cousin Amanda loved nature as a child and one day as she was preciously examining her surroundings she exclaimed “I’m just looking at this fuckin’ water”.  By the time my aunt had her first son she thought she was going to set an example and introduced a “cuss” jar at family gatherings so as to limit the amount of expletives around her first-born. That was welcomed by several family members saying: “Pass that fuckin’ jar over here, I’ll put in my cash for the day”  Needless to say my cousin’s piggy bank was over flowing and the cuss jar faded away. She never even tried to revisit the idea when her second child was born, too bad, he may have been able to pay for his college education with the proceeds.

Now for me, I have really made an effort to not say the naughty words around the kids.  I generally just abbreviate so I can still get my point across. So I might say “What the F” or “Marley just took a massive S”, etc. Dave has also made an effort as well, but don’t get me wrong now and again we let the real words slip out. I have also asked my family members to try their best at limiting the swears, especially my mom, who by the way, has the kids call her “Pooh Pat”. She told me when I was preggo, that she did not want to be called grandma, she came up with the name and I was just thrilled it wasn’t “Shit Head”, which is a term of endearment in my family.

I would not have been too terribly surprised if Sam’s big debut into the world of four-letter words was shit or bitch. I could have handled that, but, as we know, Sam likes to keep things interesting.

His word of choice is:  Mother Fucker.

There,  I said it. That’s a bad one….shit.

At least he is not saying “Cee U Next Tuesday”, we don’t even use that one.

Just so you know, he does not run around the house saying “Mother fucker, mother fucker” sadly, from a grammatic stand point, he uses the word “appropriately”. For example, while packing up to go home from a lovely visit at my friend’s house, her  boys were playing with Sam and he did not want to play anymore so he said “Stop it you Mother Fuckers”. At the park his friend Jayden threw sand in his face and he said “Don’t be a mother fucker!” Oh good, before we know it he will be able to conjugate the word, a skill that may prove very useful in high school foreign language class. And here I thought he wasn’t ready for Kindergarten.

Dave and I have had many discussions with Sam about his language. Dave recently told Sam that when he says that word he is being disrespectful. Tonight, Sam did not like something Dave had to say and he said “Dad, you are being disrespectable”,  now that was cute. A few minutes later he looks at his dad and says “Hey dad, mother”. I think we know where is was going with that one …..not soo cute.

Moving forward, I have decided I’m not going to analyze where he heard the word  and agonize over why he uses it,  or even worry about when he is going to use it next. I’m just going to play it safe and blame the neighbor children. 🙂